Being a parent in the neonatal unit

For most of the families who pass through the hospital each year, the birth of their baby is a happy and uncomplicated event. However some babies will need to be admitted to the neonatal unit.

Babies are admitted to the NNU for many different reasons. Some may stay for one or two days while others for several months. No matter how short or long the stay is, a parent's worries and concerns are important and valid.

Walking into the hot and noisy nurseries of the NNU can be a daunting experience for any parent. There are alarms sounding, babies crying, numerous staff going about their daily work using words which may sound foreign.  Some parents do not notice the surroundings, the people or remember what is said to them - their focus is completely centred on their baby.  Others have said that the sight of all the machinery surrounding their baby is very frightening.

In the NNU, parents are an important part of the team caring for their baby. Staff are available to help parents and families through what is a traumatic time; they offer support and answer questions openly and honestly, they include parents in the decisions involving a baby's care and keep parents up to date with baby's progress.

In the early days of a baby's stay, there is a lot of information to take in and parents may have a head full of questions about what's happening with their new son or daughter. Many parents have felt frightened, confused, angry, dazed and most of all helpless. The experience of every parent is different, even between couples, and the way in which a parent deals with having a sick baby is as individual as their fingerprint.

No matter how ill a baby is, there are things, which a parent can do to help. It is not always possible for parents to hold their baby, either because he may be too ill or unstable or because of the equipment attached to him. Nevertheless a comforting hand placed on him is encouraged and will benefit both parent and baby. Whilst a baby is in an incubator only parents may touch him. Parents are encouraged to talk to the nurses looking after their baby about the types of stimulation their baby might tolerate and enjoy.

The sense of hearing is one of the best developed, even in a baby who is very premature. To hear the loving voice of a parent or grandparent reading a story by the side of his incubator is of benefit to even the most ill baby. Some parents bring in toys or photographs to stick onto their baby's incubator so that it seems more warm and homely.

With so many staff on the unit both you and your baby will meet a lot of different nurses and doctors. As parents, you are in an ideal position to monitor the daily changes of your baby and are, therefore, an important source of information to those who may not have previously met him. Also a soothing voice and touch meant only to show love is important to the emotional well being of your infant.

As you will, no doubt, hear many times, breast milk is very important for the sick or premature baby. Even if you do not intend to breast feed, please consider expressing breast milk - every little makes a difference to your baby!

For couples, this can be a time when you pull together and cope with the situation as a unit. However stress over a period of time is enough to shake even the most firm of relationships. The demands of spending time with your sick baby, coping with the attention of family and friends, work or other children are, at best tiring. Remember that you need to look after yourself in order to be able to cope with what each new day brings. Rest, try to eat properly and talk to each other about your worries and feelings if you can.

Remember that we on the neonatal unit are only temporary people in your baby's life while parents are there for always. As the days pass in the NNU and your baby becomes well, then you will find that you are able to do more and more as we help you to prepare for going home. The nursing staff will do all they can to help you to build your confidence. Mums and Dads have told us that they felt they were asking the same questions over and over or that they worried that their questions may seem silly to the staff. If you need to ask a question - ask it. No question asked from a concerned parent is silly and if you need to repeat questions of several people then do just that. You may get slightly different replies from each member of staff and this in itself can be confusing. However there are more than 100 medical and nursing staff within NNU, each of us has a personal view and understanding of the issues which affect the babies in our care. Try to pick out the information, which makes most sense to you. Writing down questions and concerns as they occur to you so that you can discuss them with your baby's doctor can be very helpful.